Do Marriage Counselors Ever Recommend Divorce?

As a general rule, hollywood movies are not a reliable source of sound marital advice. While they often do a wonderful job of parodying or dramatizing various aspects of marriage that many of us experience, they should not be used as a reference point for how things work in the real world.

An excellent case in point:
 

There is absolutely no arguing that Wanda Sykes is hilarious, and if you watch the whole clip from the beginning, her analysis certainly seems to fit the bill. But it also begs the question–do marriage counselors ever actually recommend divorce?

As it turns out, some folks over a the Huffington Post asked the same question after watching “Big Little Lies”, and the results were very interesting.
 

Guidance, Not Direction

Unlike the movies, real marriage counselors strive to provide guidance, not specific direction to their clients, especially on the subject of divorce.

The ultimate goal is to have clients come to their own decisions, rather than having a therapist make decisions for them or give the appearance of encouraging one course of action over another.
 

Addressing Domestic Violence

The one exception to rule of not getting directly involved is when domestic violence is a component of the marriage. If there are signs of physical abuse, therapists will absolutely help the victim get the resources they need and even suggest leaving.

To keep the victim safe and protect them from potential retribution, marriage counselors will talk about splitting up in a one-on-one setting. The abuse can actually get worse if the abuser is aware of the idea of separation.
 

Mediating Through Divorce

It makes it a little easier for a therapist when a couple recognizes that their marriage is, for all intents and purposes, over. In that case, their job is to help the couple untangle their lives and plan out what their relationship will look like post-divorce.

Every divorce is unique and has its own particular challenges, and counseling can help them achieve closure. In cases where there are children, counseling can also help them co-parent in a healthier and more mature way as well.