Does It Matter Who Files For Divorce?

While things like child support, alimony, division of assets, pets, and other big ticket issues understandably get a lot of attention when talking about divorce, the actual act of filing for divorce is often overlooked. For those who may be wondering, “Does it matter who files for divorce?” – the answer is yes, it sometimes does.
 

Why It Matters Who Files for Divorce

The short answer to this question is that it matters who files for divorce because people are people and we all bring our opinions, bias, and prejudices to bear whenever a decision needs to be made. Unfortunately, this holds true even in the legal system.

In some divorce cases, the non-moving spouse (the person who doesn’t file for divorce) may face harsher consequences than moving spouse. Why? Because first impressions, despite a court and/or judge’s best efforts, still carry some weight.

This can be especially true in cases that involve abuse, domestic violence, infidelity, or other extreme reasons for the divorce other than the more common “irreconcilable differences”.
 

Advantages Of Being The “Moving Spouse”

Despite the legal system’s best efforts at impartiality, there are several advantages to being the spouse who files for divorce:

• Speed: The spouse that files for divorce often controls how fast the proceedings move.
• Perception: The initial divorce filing contains the moving spouse’s allegations and ground for divorce. This may not be a fair representation of the situation, but it may influence a judge’s view of the case.
• Cost: The spouse who initiates the divorce can ask that the other spouse pay for half or more of the fees associated with the divorce filing. This may not seem fair, but is a common part of the process.

As you can see, there are real advantages to being the one who files for divorce. Controlling the speed and narrative of a divorce can possibly lead to a more favorable outcome, and may have real consequences for the decisions about things like child custody, alimony, and assets.
 

When You’re Ready, File

Filing for a divorce is obviously a huge step in a relationship. It shouldn’t be made impulsively and without consideration for the long term consequences. However, if you have come to the conclusion that getting divorced is the best course of action for you and your family, then don’t hesitate. Hire an attorney and file for divorce before your spouse does and take control of the process.