7 Things You Should Never Do During Your Divorce

7 Things You Should Never Do During Your Divorce

by Dec 4, 2019Divorce

Every divorce is different, and because of that, it can be difficult to prepare someone going through it for the first time. With that said, however, there are some general guidelines that we can share about what not to do during your own divorce that will save you a lot of time, money, and frustration as the process unfolds.

Here are our seven things you should never do doing your divorce:

1) Don’t Try And Hide Money Or Assets

We’ve previously written about why this is such a bad idea, but it’s worth repeating again here. If you try and hide money or assets from your ex during your divorce, it could lead to serious legal penalties. You’re far better off negotiating for them upfront.

2) Don’t Neglect Your Personal Finances

Getting divorced can be expensive, so pay close attention to your budget and other expenses while you’re going through the process. Excessive spending can not only come back to bite you down the road, but may also signal to the court that you have plenty of money to divide with your ex.

3) Don’t Rely On Joint Bank Accounts

As soon as you’ve filed for divorce (or been notified by your ex), you should stop using any shared or joint bank accounts and immediately open new accounts in your name only. This has two benefits: you’ll begin building credit on your own if you don’t have much already, and it prevents your ex from spying on your spending during your divorce.

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4) Don’t Rely On Family And Friends For Advice

Unless your circle of family and friends includes several divorce attorneys, it’s best to leave the legal strategy and advice to the attorney you’ve hired to represent you. While family and friends invariably mean well, it’s far better to lean on them for emotional support rather than legal advice.

5) Stay Off Of Social Media

Seriously, stay off of social media during your divorce. Don’t tweet, post, comment, like, or favorite anything about your ex-spouse or your divorce. Getting into an online flame war with your ex during your divorce can do serious damage to your actual court case.

6) Leave Your Kids Out Of It

One of the most common (and awful) tactics couples use during a divorce is to weaponize their children. Don’t force your kids into the middle of your divorce; focus instead on making them feel loved and supported.

7) Don’t Be A Jerk Just To Spite Your Ex

No matter how hurt, angry, bitter, or resentful you feel about your ex during your divorce, being a jerk to them just because you’re mad doesn’t help you all. It often makes the process take a lot longer and cost a lot more money.

Instead of fighting over every little thing, try to focus on the common purpose, and choose your battles carefully. It may be frustrating in the moment, but focusing on positive, construction negotiations could help save you time and money.


At Vonder Haar Law Offices, we offer every client a free phone consultation to discuss their unique situation and determine how we can help. To arrange a consultation, please fill out the adjacent form or call us at: (707) 529-3200.

We provide representation in California State and Federal Courts. We accept most major credit cards for your convenience.

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