The Benefits Of Therapy During Or After Divorce

The Benefits Of Therapy During Or After Divorce

by | Oct 24, 2018 | Divorce

There is no “right” way to go through a divorce. While it’s certainly possible to make things easier or more difficult for yourself, everyone will experience the process a little bit differently. With that said, getting professional help in the form of therapy during and/or after your divorce can have some very tangible benefits that will likely last you a long time.

Common feelings and reactions during a divorce include guilt, fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, depression, shame, and more. It’s also often a time of upheaval and uncertainty in your personal and possibly even professional life.

How Therapy Helps During Divorce

With all the emotion and turmoil that a divorce may cause, seeing a therapist can help you:

  • Gain a rational perspective
  • Equip you with the necessary skills to go through this challenging time
  • Process and let go of negative emotions
  • Gain better understanding on the dynamics that got you to the point of divorce
  • Teach you how to help your children
  • Learn to better communicate with your ex-spouse
  • Gain coping skills

Generally anyone who participates in therapy during or after a divorce will benefit, not only by learning more about themselves, but also by shifting their perception during this life transition. Therapy is an opportunity for growth and hopefully a bright future.

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Asking For Help Is A Good Thing

For many people, but men especially, there is a stigma around getting therapy. Asking for help can make those going through a divorce feel weak or lesser of themselves. There is a common cultural notion that “real adults” solve their own problems.

But the truth is often the exact opposite. Getting help can free you up emotionally to deal with your divorce and make real progress. After a divorce, the emotions and feelings you have regarding your ex-spouse and the experience itself can be a lot to unpack. Getting therapy is one of the most healthy and positive ways to channel your feelings and understand what you’ve gone through.

Your Lawyer Is Not Your Therapist

It is not uncommon, especially during the most difficult phases of a divorce, for people to turn to their lawyers for sympathy and compassion.

While having a good professional relationship with your lawyer is a good thing, relying on them as an emotional outlet is generally not a good idea. From a practical standpoint, using your lawyer as a stand-in for a therapist will almost certainly not produce the types of results you are looking for, and cost quite a bit more in addition.

Your lawyer is a legal professional, and is in no way qualified to provide the kind of counseling that a licensed therapist is trained to do. Working with a therapist may actually improve the relationship between you and your attorney, by allowing you to focus more clearly on the process itself and less on the emotional component of your divorce.


At Vonder Haar Law Offices, we offer every client a free phone consultation to discuss their unique situation and determine how we can help. To arrange a consultation, please fill out the adjacent form or call us at: (707) 529-3200.

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